Alrighty then...

Okay, so just a quick update while I have time. I'm waiting for the moments to pass until Physics.

By the way, I have all my midterms within days of each other. In fact, I have three midterms three days in a row. Wooooo.

What's even more awesome about it is that I haven't started studying until today. Yeah. I rock.

Alright. Leaving this now.

CreepyNerdNextDoor

At College right now

A little bored because I'm only killing time. Since it's the beginning of the year so I don't have any homework or reading right now, and I have five classes.

These times right now are going to be the times where I'm going to be studying, but right now, I'm bored as hell waiting for my next class.

Meeeeehhhh I'm going to regret saying that later in October.

So..

I've done almost nothing with my life since the last time I looked here. I decided a few things about myself that I think are significant in changing a few bad habits I have.

First off, I've lost my passion for competition and higher learning. I used to love competing for better grades, I used to love working for better marks, and in general I used to love being smart. I loved to strive for intelligence, and I don't know where that went.

Maybe it's just me, but I think it's because I began to learn to control my emotions, so much so that it became hard to tell if I was overtly excited or incredibly irritated. I learned to allow others to step on me, in the sense that I allowed them to be excited, and my being so passive with my own feelings I discouraged them from challenging me.

Second, I learned that it hurt more to be disappointed over a failed expectation, rather than knowing that I would fail something. So I told myself to under expect and assume I would never be good enough, then be pleasantly surprised about a good mark if and when I got one.

The bad thing about that is because I began to drop my grades because I expected I would get lower anyway. I stopped striving. I stopped being smart. I wasted time. Talk about depressing.

I would say that I lost so much steam and so much self-respect after a while, because I had convinced myself that I would not be good enough and would never amount to anything. I have so much time in my life, and yet time felt like it stopped for me. I wasted so much of my youth being disappointed in myself.

Knowing all this now, when I'm older and almost ready to leave high school, I guess I'm scared. My failure to see this earlier and deciding to change will probably cost me the chance for a good university and some scholarships. But, I guess it's better late than never.

I'm going to take charge in my life, and I'm going to stand up for myself. That means I'm not going to care if my mother or my father is disappointed in my grades, but rather, I'm going to strive for better if I'm not satisfied. I will have to be stronger.

But I'll have to be patient as well.

I mean, it's most definitely going to hurt a lot to hear about the disappointment in my grades if my parents are not satisfied with them. But I won't apologize. I did nothing wrong to them, but I did it to myself. This I will have to be self assured about.

Well, here's hoping I can get stronger, one day at a time!

CreepyNerdNextDoor

Hey all...

Sorry I've been very bad in keeping this blog.

To make up for it, here's the scoop:

I'm in my final year of high school, so I'm applying to every college, university and institution that I think and hope with all my heart will take me. Because of this, everyday I receive e-mail after e-mail of ad, open house, and registration date underneath the west coast sun.

My family is slowly but surely getting older. My mother and father continue to hope and strive for a better future for me, and although I appreciate it a lot, I am not sure that it is helping in my stress level.

To further condole my stress, I am in 3 major sciences at school (Chemistry, Biology and Physics) to get in and I'm taking a two block AP Calculus course for the credits. Not to mention I'm taking Law, and have a test almost every 2 to 3 days. Not to mention that I'm taking English online so I could make room for those sciences and still have room for an elective so that I could keep my stress as low as possible.

Not that it's really helping.

I joined Yearbook for my final year. Great. It's fun and stressful, because it requires a bunch of my after school time dedicated to learning programs like Adobe Illustrator and Adobe Photoshop CS.

And as always there is the problem of money, and the fight for a job. Even though I know that it would more than likely help the family's situation, my parents continue to insist on me not working. Even though more often than not I hear them arguing over the phone with a Bank representative.

Anyway, let's not worry about that. Although.. it does continue to come up because of the constant fees I must pay for all the so called "benefits" that seniors get. Like Prom, and class rings, and trips and pictures and retreats. The ridiculous never ends. I could actually and honestly live without all of these, especially Prom, and yet the whole world insists that I try to enjoy them, for the "experience" that is senior year.

Let's get this straight, I don't need it, don't want it, and sometimes don't deserve it. And to be honest, I don't like it. I truly feel like I'm being forced to have all of these things. If I want them, damn it, I'll ask!

Sorry, but it really does bother me.

Ugh, I have so much more to say, but I don't know how to put it into words... not to mention, I am too freaking tired to care.

Stay Classy,

CreepyNerdNextDoor

A Fan's Reprise: Twilight

During this wonderful summer I was looking through the mess that I call my bedroom and stumbled upon something that all of us can love and relate to: books.

From Harry Potter to Pride and Prejudice, I looked at those books and thought about how much fun it would be to go through all those adventures with some of my favourite people again.

Until I stumbled upon one book that is a guilty part of my reading conscience.

Twilight.

Having read it in the 8th grade all I can say is, with the capacity I had to analyze writing back then, the only character that I found partially redeemable in that series was Jacob Black.

I decided to read the first few chapters of the book just for old times sake, and found that I couldn't do it anymore. Seeing as my taste in novels has matured and flourished into something more (uh, how should I put it...) intelligent, I couldn't stomach the simplistic vocabulary or the extremely underdeveloped characters.

It was through this, that I got an idea.

I am going to write my own version of the Twilight series. I want to do this as a summer project, to a) force myself to keep writing and b) so I won't lose what little brain cells I have left from the sun. I figured, it might be interesting to turn this sorry excuse for a novel and turn it into something sarcastic, witty and potentially good. For that I am going to need your help.

I would like you to write a few things you've found if/when you have read these books, from the first to the fourth and final installment. Anything, in my ask or in my submission box, things that you think the characters should be and how they should change, from personality to story line, anything. I will take and consider all of them as I write. Also, I need people to tell me in earnest what they thought when they first read the book.

Now, I still need to keep this in the "Twilight" category, so some things will not change:

1. The physical appearances of the characters will not change.
2. The physical traits that have been associated with the mythical creatures will not change to be accurate according to Real World Mythology.
3. The major chronological events in the original plot line will not change. However, how the events will be triggered can (and will be) changed.

That being said, I need a few more things from you. Since it has been so long since I actually read the series, I don't remember the major events that happened in the story. That, and the only book I actually own of these series is the first one. I need help with references and time lines, as well as supposed history that the story itself is supposed to imply. So references, quotes, history, websites, anything you can provide will be wonderful.

I want to turn this series on its head as a project I can be proud of. If we do this together, I know we'll all be proud of the outcome.

Let's have fun doing this!